DAY ONE: IMPROVE YOUR HEALTH

Many health problems have their root cause in one thing: stress. NLP recognises that there is a mind / body connection which means that the two are inextricably linked. Unfortunately these day’s people are more stressed out than ever before. Thanks to modern communications and the internet we are accessible at all times and the expectations placed on us can feel insurmountable. We also seem to have an ever increasing amount of responsibilities to deal with and only a fixed amount of hours in the day to get things done. Chronic fatigue and stress can have serious effects on your health. Fatigue can weaken your body’s immunity system and leave you susceptible to disease and illness.

How to Use the Power of NLP to Change Your Life in 7 Days

CONTENTS

Day One: Improve Your Health

Day Two: How to Persuade a Crowd

Day Three: How to Sell To Anybody

Day Four: Gain Self Confidence

Day Five: Create Fantastic Relationships

Day Six: Manage Your Time Effectively

Day Seven: Step Up To Success

WELCOME TO 7 DAYS TO NLP SUCCESS!

In “7 days to NLP Success: How to Persuade Anyone, Lose Weight and Achieve Anything.” I’ve broken down some of the basic NLP principles into seven days. On each day you will learn a little about a basic NLP principle and how you can use this to improve a specific area of your life.

To start your journey of discovery about Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) there are a basic series of presuppositions which will be useful for you to learn. By studying the basic foundational principles you will begin what will hopefully be a life long journey of self discovery and improvement.

The first principle and perhaps the most important is: The map is not the territory. This statement originated with a Polish count by the name of Korzybsk back in 1933. When you experience the world via your senses you make an internal map of this in your brain. Because this map is shaped by your own experiences this internal map will never be the same as anyone else’s. For example if I’m viewing a chess match my internal map will be much different to the one bobby Fischer forms if he watches exactly the same match. We are seeing exactly the same things but his breadth of knowledge, understanding of the game and personal experience will mean that his map will probably be nothing like mine.

We are constantly having sensory data thrust at us. It would be impossible to absorb all the data in a meaningful way so we have to filter this data. The process of filtration is heavily influenced by our values and our beliefs. We in a sense only receive the information that our experiences, social and cultural background are attuned to letting us receive.

For example imagine you are visiting a third world country. You might be amazed at the level of poverty. Because it is so different to your own expectations and experiences you cannot help but be astonished by the level of deprivation. But imagine instead that you were born into this environment, and had never lived anywhere else. To you it would seem normal. You would probably not even notice that there was so much lack or if you did you would just accept it as being a regular part of life. If you want to communicate with someone it becomes much easier if you understand their internal map. People respond to the world according to their internal map. While their behaviour may seem strange to you, it may seem completely irrational. It is based on their internal map.

Another presupposition you will want to take on board is that there is no failure only feedback. Many people allow themselves to get weighed down with what they perceive as past failures. But this is really only feedback. For example it is fact that most successful business people fail in a business venture before finally succeeding. What separates the successful business person from the unsuccessful one it to be able to take a business failure as merely feedback as a strategy this does not work in this context. By taking this information on board they are able to formulate a more successful strategy

One of the most empowering principles that NLP offers is that Individuals have all the resources they need to achieve their desired outcomes. By this it means that while you may not currently have the internal resources that you need to achieve your outcome. You do currently posses the internal resources to find the internal and external resources you will require to achieve your outcome.

Next you should understand every behaviour has a positive intent. Even if the behaviour is non productive it still has a positive intent behind it. This positive intent is called secondary gain. Take for example a gang member who commits a drive by shooting. This would seem to have no positive intent. But there is secondary gain in that he will gain acclaim and recognition amongst his peer. By identifying the person’s positive intent we can find more productive or beneficial ways of satisfying that intention.

“Seven Days to NLP Success” will look at how you can use NLP to improve your health. The core principle behind this is the mind and body are interlinked and affect each other. This is really a pretty simple idea. A healthy mind and body work together and treat each other.

Finally you will also learn later in the book how to use NLP to improve yourself and your social position in life. NLP offers a great tool to speed up your success with the principle Modelling successful performance leads to excellence. If you want to be great in a particular field and you have you can model someone else who is successful in that field and achieve the same outcomes they have.

NLP can assist you in all areas of your life. In particular it can help you to

·        Motivate yourself and others

·        Communicate effectively

·        Think positively

·        Achieve the outcomes that you desire

NLP has been described as the study of human excellence and I think that this is a pretty fitting description. NLP has its origins in the 1970’s when a group of psychologists began to study successful people to see what it was about their behaviour that lead to their success. The psychologists in this group were John Grinder a linguist, Gregory Bateson an anthropologist and Richard Bandler a psychologists. Between them they were the fathers of the discipline we know as Neurolinguist Programming or NLP for short.

NLP is not a static science however and has evolved significantly since then. We know have a much better understanding of human behaviour and thought processes and this has been incorporated into NLP. One of the important things to understand is that we communicate with ourselves as well as communicating with other people. By using NLP we are able to more effectively communicate with and persuade other people. As well as this we also learn how to better communicate with ourselves so that we achieve our desired outcomes.

In Seven Days to NLP Success I have provided you with seven different areas of your life that you can use NLP to improve. Before beginning to use NLP it is important that you set out your intention. Your intentions are the outcome that you want to achieve. Without a clear idea of where we are going it is unlikely that you will reach your desired destination. If you want to go to the grocery store then before you leave your house it’s a good idea to know where it is or at least that you want to actually visit the grocery store. If you just leave your house and start wandering around you might reach the grocery store but it is not likely.

So the first question you need to answer is what area of your life is that you would like to improve? Would you like to a be a more effective public speaker? Would you like to lose weight? Would you like to make money or increase your sales?

The key is to knowing your outcome. NLP has the tools to get you there but you must know what it is that you want to use it for. Some of you may wish to improve in all seven areas of your life covered in this book. That is perfectly acceptable provided that you set this intention from the start.

If this is your first introduction to the world of NLP then you are in for a special treat. Understanding that there are actual tools that you can use to change any aspect of your life can be incredibly liberating. Remember the tools are there for you to use but it is up to you to put them to work.

Designing NLP Smart Goals

Most people who have spent time in the corporate world will have heard of the SMART goals acronym. With this model goals had to be Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic and Timed. There is nothing wrong without this framework and in fact it is a very good basis for goal setting but it can be improved. Neuro Linguistic Programming however will give this a turbo boost by adding in sensory specific information which will help you to modify your behaviour or find help in the form of additional resources.

If you want SMART goals that are even smarter then you need to work out what you want by using the well informed outcome process. NLP uses all your senses to design a SMART goal.

You will need to answer a series of questions which will allow you to understand your true motivations for wanting to achieve your goals and so that you can weigh up the pros and cons of success versus failure.

To begin let’s look at an example. Say your desired outcome is you want to have a better paid job. Firstly is the goal stated in the positive? Is the goal self-initiated and within my control? Does the goal clearly describe when we will have achieved our goal? Is the context of the goal defined? Does the goal identify the necessary resources? Have I evaluated whether the goal is ecological? Does the goal identify the first step I need to take?

Now examine these questions in greater depth

Is the goal stated in the positive?

You must know clearly what your desired outcome is because you will need to maintain focus on that direction in order to achieve it. If you choose a vague goal like “I want to be healthier” or “I want to be richer” these goals will be too easy to be satisfied. If you go for a walk then you are healthier than if you didn’t and so your subconscious could be that the goal has been accomplished. Or if you find a $10 note then you are wealthier. However you are unlikely to be totally satisfied with either of these outcomes. Instead you need to be more specific such as “I want to have $100,000 by August 1^st 2013” This is a measureable goal written in the positive form.The problem with putting goals in the negative form can be disempowering. And remember your subconscious mind reads all statements that you feed it as being positive. So if you state “I don’t want to be fat” your subconscious mind hears “I want to be fat”.

Is the goal self-initiated, maintained and within my control 

If you want to achieve your outcome then it has to come from you. This means is the goal something that you want to achieve. A student might feel that her parents want her to enter law school. But when she comes to sit the entrance exam she fails miserably. The reason can be found in the fact that it wasn't ever her goal to enter law school. Also is the goal in your control. A goal like “I want to be a millionaire” is not a bad goal but a better one might be a more specific goal that you can definitely control. For example work out how many sales calls you would have to make in order for you to achieve that specific financial goal.

Does the goal describe the evidence procedure 

This could also be described as how will you know if you have achieved your goal. Again this is why goals must be specific. You are unlikely to achieve a goal if you are not even sure whether it has been achieved or not. For example if you have a goal to make 100 sales calls a day it is clear whether or not I have achieved that target because I can simply count the number of sales calls I made within the defined time period.

Is the context of the goal clearly defined 

Identify where, when, how and with whom do you want to achieve your goal.

Does the goal identify the necessary resources 

What resources do you currently have? What resources do you need to acquire? Have you got any evidence of achieving this type of goal before? If you are currently lacking some of the resources that you believe you will need consider acting liking you already have all the resources you require.

Evaluate whether the goal is ecological 

A goal being ecological means that the outcome fits in with all aspects of your life. If the outcome conflicts with another outcome or belief that you hold you will find it hard to achieve.

Does the goal identify the first step you need to take? 

Remember that a journey of a thousand miles begins with one step. Change often comes through not a huge breakthrough but through cumulative action. You must identify that first step you will take no matter how small it is.

Five Steps to a Well Formed Outcome

In NLP we refer to goals and objectives as outcomes. If you want to improve your chances of attaining your outcome you need to make sure that it is well formed. A well formed outcome is far more likely to be reached and if you follow these simple six steps you will massively improve your chances of success.

Step One : Know what you want

The first step in designing a well formed outcome is to know what you want. Unfortunately most people are much better at identifying what they don’t want that what they do want. The problem with this is that it puts your focus on something that you are trying to avoid. Where you put your focus is where you are going to head and so inevitably people end up achieving exactly what they set out to avoid. However knowing what you don’t want is a good first step to designing your desired outcome. If you don’t want to be fat then reverse it to I want to be slim and healthy. Or if you don’t want to procrastinate then your outcome should be to start your work quicker.

Step Two: Set a timeframe

Next setup a timeframe for your outcome. This is when you want to achieve your outcome by. If you do not set a timeframe you may reach your outcome but not in time for it to do you any good. It will also sharpen your focus and get you motivated to take action. When you are designing your outcome you might frame it using words such as next month or by the end of the year.

Step Three: Take control

Once you have formulated your outcome and you know by when you want to achieve it you must next make sure that it is within your control. You must be the one to be responsible for the outcome. You should not rely on others for the outcome to occur. This does not mean that other people cannot be involved in your outcome. Most great achievements require more than one person. Just make sure that when you design your outcome you put it in terms of the influence that you will have on other people.

Step Three: Get specific

After you have made sure that you have responsibility for the outcome you should check to make sure that the outcome is specific. This means that you will be able to measure or not whether you have achieved your outcome. If you are trying to lose weight then how much pounds exactly are you trying to lose. If you want to increase your income, then by how much a month do you want to increase it? When you picture achieving your outcome you should note any sounds or sights that you see. You may want to include how it feels to have achieved your outcome. This will ensure that the outcome is completely desirable for you.

Step Four: Identify resources

The next step is to identify the resources that you will need in order to achieve your outcome. This might consist of time, people and money. The resources that you need might not be only external however you may also have internal resources that you will need to gain. For example if you outcome will require a lot of public speaking then you may need to work out how you can gain the inner state to be a good public speaker.

Step Five: Perform an ecology check

Finally you need to perform what is known as an ecology check. This is where you make sure that the goal you are setting out to achieve does not conflict with any of your other desires or beliefs. Ask yourself questions such as what you will gain if you achieve this outcome? What could you lose as a result of achieving this outcome? What will occur in your life if you fail to achieve the outcome? Make sure that the outcome is not counter to any of your firmly held beliefs. If it is you may either have to work on your beliefs or the formulation of the outcome?

If you follow these steps carefully then created well-formed outcomes will not be difficult. A well-formed outcome is much more likely to be achieved. The journey from beginning to the completion of your outcome will take time; make sure that the destination is worthwhile before you begin.

How to Develop Rapport

Rapport is the ability to create a two way connection between people. As a student of NLP you will learn how to quickly create that connection with people so that you are able to bring them around to your point of view. If you want to lead people then you must be able to effectively communicate with them. And you cannot create effective communication without rapport.

The first skill you will want to acquire is matching and mirroring. Have a look around at your local bar or restaurant. Find two people who seem to be deeply connected. Just by observing their body language you will notice how much they seem to be in tune with each other. Their physical actions and the way they talk naturally match and complement each other. We call the reverse of this mismatching. An example of this is a supervisor yelling at a cowering employee. They are obviously mismatched and not in rapport this is clearly not an effective way to communicate with people.

We use match and mirror to naturally replicate the actions of the other person so as to build rapport. This matching and mirroring should include matching their body posture and their gestures. It should also include matching their breathing rates. It also goes as far as matching their energy level. If you are the sort of energetic person who is bouncing all over the place you might think that this will be inspiring for a person who is more restrained. However the fact is you will not be in rapport with this person. You need to “Turn down” your energy levels to match the other person. Remember effective communication is your responsibility not the other persons.

An important point to note here is that if the person realises you are actively trying to mimic them then chances are they will feel like they are being mocked and you will fall out of rapport. You need to have some subtly which means you should create rapport in steps. If you do this naturally then there is little chance that the other person will notice how you have changed your own actions.
An important skill is to learn how to pace. Pacing is about keeping in step with the other person. It is about really listening to them and seeing where they are coming from. You need to be patient with people. Don’t try and force your opinion quickly upon them because it won’t be effective.

Once you have matched and mirrored the other person you will be able to take it to another level and start to lead the other person. Having created rapport you will be able to subtly shift the person down the path you wish them to take, leading them off in a fresh direction. By opening up effective communication the other person will more readily agree with what you are saying. Because it is in congruence with what they already believe they are more likely to accept your suggestio